Families
Families
A Family Experiment
Every family has a set of rules--the way things work--even if itsmembers don't know it. Without discussing them amongst yourselves,have each family member write down what he or she thinks are the 10 main"rules" for your family. When you're finished, compare what you'vewritten. You'll be surprised how many family members have written downthe same thing!
A Few Things Kids Should Know About Parents.
Parents are human.
Much as we may try, we can't always keep our problems to ourselves. Still, it's not fair for us to involve the kids in our fights and it'sespecially not fair for us to make our kids choose sides. If you findyourself doing this: STOP! Wait til the kids aren't around to workthings out. Get a sitter and take a walk, if you need to. Choosingsides is for baseball teams and elections, not for families.
Too-Strict Parents.
You might be surprised to learn that most kids would rather have parentsthat are a little too strict than not stict enough. Even though theymay yell and sulk, they know deep down that when you make rules abouttheir behavior--even if they seem overly strict--you're showing thatyou really care about the things they do--and who they do them with.
One parent we know uses this analogy, when explaining why there are "somany rules": Learning about life is a little like learning to fly anairplane. Once you get in the air it's exciting, but first you need toknow which buttons to press and which ones to leave alone. What kind offlight instructor would I be if I put you in an airplane, pointed to thecontrol panel and said, "Figure it out for yourself!"
Kids Need to Earn Their Parent's Trust.
Kids need to learn how to be responsible. They're never too young to dosmall chores around the house, or take care of their possessions. Butit's best to start small. If you give them too much responsibilitytoo soon it may set up a pattern of failure, which is frustrating allaround. Make reasonable demands of them and let them know, clearly,what you expect from them. Then stick to your guns! If they can't betrusted now to bring in their bikes at night, you'll be thinking twiceabout giving them keys to the family car when they're teenagers!
More on Family Relationships.
You'll want to refer to this handy guide the next time you go to afamily reunion!
Aunt: Your mother or father's sister, or their brother's wife*.
Uncle: Your mother or father's brother, or your sister's husband*.
Cousin: Your aunt and uncle's child.
Second cousin: Your parent's cousin's child.
Great-aunt or great-uncle: Your grandparent's siblings. For instance, your grandmother's sister. (Geneologists call this relationship grand-aunt or grand-uncle.)
Half-sibling*: Your mother or father's child with a previous spouse.
Step-sibling*: Your mother's husband's (or father's wife's) child from a previous marriage.
*In the event of divorce, these relationships become "connections".
Our question: How do you set the ground rules in your family? Does your system work? Send us your answer now.
The book also contains lists of kids' favorite books and movies.
